Or is it?

My husband and I were recently having a conversation about cooking. I, personally, wish I was better and feel frustrated that I do not have a lot of go-to meals that I can whip up with ease and confidence, knowing they’ll taste spectacular. My husband brought up a point that made me think – how can I have recipes that I like when I only try recipes one time?

Of course, I asked him to explain more.
“Well, you always try a recipe once and if it doesn’t work out perfectly, you give up on the recipe and never try again. You are giving yourself this idea that you have to NAIL the recipe on the first try, otherwise, you say you are a bad cook or the recipe is too hard.”

I paused (maybe a little begrudgingly). He was right. I am constantly trying new recipes and I go into them with HIGH expectations that this meal will be AMAZING. That is, after all, what everyone wrote in the comment section. However, when the recipe doesn’t work out for whatever reason, I call myself a failure and feel defeated. I swear off cooking or at least, I promise to never make that recipe again.

What’s interesting about this cooking debacle is that I am WAY more gracious to myself in messing up or failing in other areas of life. I have somehow allowed this idea that cooking and I just do not go together. But the truth is, I am not allowing them to go together. I am so critical of my mistakes and I go into cooking with such high pressure that it feels like a big crash when everything falls apart.

Now – I ask you, what area in your life are you being hard on yourself? Is there a space in your life that could use more grace and allowances for failing in order to grow?

1. Instead of: I tried a fitness class, it was hard and the instructor was too intense. Group fitness isn’t for me.
2. Try: I tried a group fitness class at that gym and it wasn’t my kind of workout. Let’s see what other types of fitness classes are available.
3. Instead of: I tried eating healthier by doing Whole30 but it was too expensive and stressful, eating healthy isn’t for me.
4. Try: I want to eat healthier and Whole30 did not work for me. Let me research and ask questions to figure out other ways to eat healthier so I can feel my best without feeling stress or financial strain.
5. Instead of: I’m so stressed, I tried meditation but that was boring, I’ll manage this stress when life calms down or I retire.
6. Try: I’m so busy and managing stress levels is important to my health. Meditation wasn’t my thing but I will try going outside 10 minutes a day or reading before bed.

Let’s all work together on that “harder” part of life that feels impossible. Perhaps we just need time to reframe our mindset.

Gabriella Enniss